Holding on and Letting Go
by CaseyNovak16
Summary: So after watching last weeks CSI:NY episode, I am so excited and cannot wait to see Jo in action fighting the rapist John Curtis, so I  made up my own version of how it would go and this story is based on that. I hope you all enjoy and comment!
1. Friendly Compromise

Jo was just packing up to leave after another grueling day of work, when she heard a tap on her

office window. "Can I come in?" asked Mac rhetorically. Jo smiled. "We'll for all intents and

purposes you are in" said Jo. Mac chuckled a little. "So, you heading out?" asked Mac. "Yeah,

it's been one hell of a day" said Jo. "Can I offer you a lift home?" asked Mac. "That's a very

nice gesture Mac, but after the day I've had, I think a little fresh air might do me some good, so

I'll just walk, but thanks just the same" said Jo as she slung her bag across her shoulder.

"Jo, I'm not trying to start an argument here, but I saw the way that John Curtis looked at you and I

don't want you walking home by yourself at night" said Mac. "Mac Taylor, do I detect a sense of

worry for my well-being" said Jo cynically. He didn't smile this time. "I'm serious Jo, I don't think

that I'd ever forgive myself if something happened to you" he retorted. She felt a lump starting

to form in her throat. Sure, she knew that Mac worried about all his friends and co-workers, but

this just seemed different somehow. No Jo, don't you dare let yourself go there, she said to

herself.

"So, about that ride?" inquired Mac thinking that he'd won the argument. Jo was

brought back to reality at the sound of Mac's voice. "Alright, listen Mac, how about we

compromise" said Jo. "I'm listening" said Mac. "I'll leave my cell on and you can talk to me the

whole way home, deal" said Jo. "I don't know, I still don't feel good about you walking home by

yourself" replied Mac. "Mac relax, I can take care of myself, besides, you've forgotten one very

important detail" replied Jo. "Oh yeah and what's that?" asked Mac, grinning. "I'm armed and

dangerous" said Jo pulling her Sig Saur from its' holster and pointing it in Mac's direction. "Jo,

put that away before you hurt somebody" said Mac smiling. "Just demonstrating" said Jo

flashing a smile back at him and holstering her gun. "Mac, I'll promise, I'll be alright, but I

appreciate the concern" said Jo. "So then I guess there's no, more arguing with you, is there?"

asked Mac.

"No there's really not" replied Jo laughing a little. "So I'll see you tomorrow then"

said Jo starting to walk away. Mac stepped in front of her, blocking her exit. "Mac" she sighed,

seeming somewhat frustrated. "Jo, I want you to turn your cell phone now, so I can make sure

that you hold up to your end of the compromise" said Mac. "Are you always this stubborn?"

asked Jo. "Yes I am" said Mac chuckling. "Fine" said Jo pulling out her cellphone and turning it

on where Mac could see. "Can I go now?" asked Jo. "Yes you may go" said Mac, moving out of

her way and allowing her to pass. She headed towards the elevator. "And Jo" said Mac. "Yeah"

she inquired, turning slightly. "Please be careful" said Mac, concern prevalent in his eyes. "I

always am" said Jo. Then she got in the elevator and disappeared out of his sight.


	2. Holding On

As soon as Jo stepped off the elevator and headed out the precinct doors, a burst of cold wind hit her. She pulled her coat tighter against her and wrapped her scarf around her. Then she started on her way home. Her phone immediately started to ring. She knew who it was before she even answered it.

"Mac Taylor" she said, smiling on the inside.

"Am I really that predictable?" asked Mac jokingly.

"Well generally yes, but it might have had something to do with the fact that you told me you

were gonna call me and talk to me the whole way home" she said laughing.

"Okay, so you got me" said Mac chuckling. "So what's on the agenda tonight for

the always effervescent Jo Danville?" asked Mac, starting a conversation.

"Mac, didn't your mother ever tell you that flattery will get you nowhere?" asked Jo.

"Hey, I thought I was pretty charming" said Mac. Jo just laughed.

"Well my plans include going home and taking a relaxing hot bath, helping Ellie with some

homework, and probably topping it off by watching a little Letterman and going to bed" said Jo.

"Typical night at my place" she continued.

Mac hesitated for a moment and then spoke again. "Well maybe we can grab dinner after work sometime and then it won't be so typical" said Mac.

That lump started to form in Jo's throat again. Was Mac asking her on a date. "Uh, sure, that sounds great" said Jo.

"Great, how's Friday night sound?" asked Mac. "Perfect" said Jo. She knew Mac was probably grinning from ear to ear on the other end of the line. Jo was so caught up in her conversation with Mac that she didn't notice that someone was creeping up behind her. Suddenly she felt something wrap around her throat and she was forcibly yanked backwards. Her cell phone flew out of her hand and hit the concrete.

Her instincts suddenly kicked in and she clawed at the rope around her throat desperate for air.

"Jo, Jo" yelled Mac worriedly. "Jo talk to me, are you okay?" he said frantically.

Jo's vision started to get hazy and she felt like at any moment she would black out completely. Then the assailant kicked her in the back of the leg and she crashed to the ground.

"Ahh" she screamed in pain. She elbowed him in the gut and he released his hold on the rope choking her. He reached down and picked up her phone. "Jo can't come to the phone right now" he said and then threw the phone back down. Mac immediately sprang into action. He needed to get a trace on Jo's phone, and fast. He was relieved to find that Adam was pulling a late night.

He rushed into the AV lab. "Adam" said Mac erratically.

"Yeah Mac, what's up?" asked Adam.

"Jo's in trouble I need a trace on her phone, quickly" he retorted.

"Oh Man" said Adam. Mac handed the phone to Adam and he quickly went at it.

"Hurry Adam" yelled Mac.

"I'm trying" replied Adam. "Got it" he said. "She's on Mercer Street" said Adam. Adam barely finished his sentence before Mac tore out of there.

Jo was still recovering from the lack of oxygen when he came at here again. She reached for her gun, but he was too fast. He kicked the gun out of her hand and backhanded her across the face so hard that it sent her sprawling backwards. Her head smacked the concrete with a crack.

It dazed her somewhat and she could taste the blood coming from her lip. The pain that radiated from the base of her skull was immense, but she somehow managed to regain her composure and kicked him in the groin.

He screamed out in pain. "Oh you're gonna pay for that one Jo" he said sinfully. She raced toward her gun, but he wasn't giving up that easily. He charged at her, and before she could get to her gun, he grabbed her by the back of her jacket and threw her down the stairwell. She landed with a thud at the bottom.

Once again her head collided with the cold hard concrete and the breath was knocked out of her. She opened her eyes and tried to pick herself up off the floor. Her vision was hazy, and as she tried to maneuver herself in the upright position, she not only felt an increasing pain at the base of her skull, but her breathing became increasingly painful and she had to steady herself against the wall. By the severity of the pain, she surmised that at least a couple of her ribs were broken.

Her assailant picked up her gun and headed down the stairs. A wave of panic shot through her, as she heard the sound of footsteps coming toward her. She flattened herself against the wall. Then she swallowed hard as the sound of the footsteps rescinded. "Jo don't think that you can hide from me" he said, anger prevalent in his voice.

She knew that even as dark as it was there was only so much time that she could stay out of his sight. She crept slowly along the wall, hoping that he wouldn't hear or see her.

Mac tore down the streets of New York like a bat out of hell, with his sirens blaring. He ran almost every red light and almost swapped paint with at least five other vehicles. "Come on" he yelled as a car pulled out right in front of him and he slammed on the breaks. "Dammit" he said angrily. He finally was able to get around the other car and sped off again.

When she reached the edge of the stairs she made a run for it. She wasn't quick enough,

however. Her attacker grabbed her ankle and she came crashing down. She screamed out in

pain as her broken ribs ricocheted off the concrete stairs. He flipped her over to face him. She

looked up in to the cold, unforgiving eyes of John Curtis.

"Did you miss me Jo?" he asked chuckling sinisterly.

"You bastard" said Jo gritting her teeth as the pain worsened.

"Is that a no?" he asked sarcastically.

"Go to hell" said Jo.

"You first" he said yanking her up and slamming her roughly against the wall. She clenched her teeth as another wave of pain shot through her body. He then took her handcuffs and tried to put them on her. She wasn't giving in that easily, however. She brought her elbow up and it made contact with his nose. He screamed out in pain, but didn't let up. "You stupid bitch" he said with fury radiating in his voice.

He yanked her arm behind her so forcefully that she thought it might break right off. He cuffed her wrist together and spun her around to face him. She could see the anger on his face and was afraid of what he might do next. He took her gun, which he had acquired earlier, and smashed it into the side of her head, and she fell to the ground motionless.

"Wake up Jo, were gonna have ourselves a little fun" he said with a smirk as he patted the side of her face trying to get her to come to. It wasn't long at all before she started to stir. She tried to get up, but felt very heavy.

She looked up and realized that Curtis was now on top of her. She tried to squirm out from under him, but he was too strong. "Oh, Jo you don't know how long I have waited for this" he said with an evil gleam in his eye. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw the glint of a knife.

Jo had always prided herself on being a very strong an independent woman; above begging to a scumbag like John Curtis, but yet, right here in his moment she felt it was all she could do.

"Please don't do this" she pleaded.

"It's too late for that Jo, you should have just kept your distance, you got too close and now you're gonna pay for it" he said smacking her in the face.

She could feel the salty wetness of tears starting to form in her eyes, but she didn't want to let him, of all people, see her cry. He took the knife and sliced the front of her shirt all the way down, exposing her bra. "Very nice" he said as he ran his hands along her breast. She just closed her eyes and tried to keep her breathing calm, preparing herself for what would inevitably follow.


	3. I'd Come For You

**She could feel his filthy hand sliding down every inch of her body. She hoped and prayed to God that someone would save her before it escalated any further, but as she felt his hands starting to unbutton her pants, she knew that things weren't going to end well. He started to kiss her neck. Then he got right in her face. "You disappoint me Jo, I thought you were tough, but turns out you're nothing but a pathetic little bitch" he said snickering. Even with her hands cuffed behind her back, and the searing pain both from her head and ribs, she wasn't just gonna lie down and let this happen.**

**She brought her head up into his with a crack which prompted a painful scream from him and sent him sprawling backwards. She regretted her actions almost immediately as a horribly unbearable pain shot through her head and her vision became blurry. "You dumb bitch!" He yelled furiously, holding his head. Then he grinned deviously. "You shouldn't have done that Jo" he said. He jumped back on top of her and wrapped his hands around her throat. She gasped for air.**

**He kept one hand around her throat and used the other to unzip his pants. "Time to finish this Jo" he said as he said as he yanked her pants and underwear down. Jo felt like the world was spinning in that moment. By now she was drifting in and out of consciousness. He forcefully thrust himself into her. She whimpered in pain. She could hear the nearing wail of sirens and the sound of rain that was now beginning to fall. Curtis stroked her cheek and grunted as he pulled out of her.**

**"We'll have to do this again sometime Jo" he said with an arrogant tone. Then he stood up, zipped up his pants and took off down the street. At that moment Mac pulled his vehicle to a screeching halt and jumped out. He was running so fast that he almost tripped and fell down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, he saw her laying there in a heap on the cold, hard concrete. His blood started to boil.**

**He rushed over to her. The first thing he noticed was that her pants were pulled down. He began to feel sick to his stomach; he didn't want her to be exposed like that so he pulled them back up. "Jo" he whispered softly. "Jo, come on wake up for me sweetie" he said as he stroked her bruised cheek. This prompted a soft groan from her. "Mac" she said in barely a whisper.**

**"Yeah Jo" it's me. "Everything's gonna be okay, alright" he whispered to her as he stroked her hair. "I…It hurts" she grunted. Then she started coughing up blood. "Woah, take it easy Jo" he said. "Where does it hurt?" he asked. She pointed to her ribs. "Okay, I'm gonna take a look, just breathe easy" he said. He lifted up what was left of her shirt and stared down in horror at a large purplish bruise starting to form on her right side. Now Mac was no doctor, but even he knew that it was definitely not a good sign.**

**He knew that he couldn't wait for an ambulance, so he had to make a quick decision. "Alright, listen to me Jo, I need to get you out of here, okay" he said. He carefully lifted her up into his arms. She let out a painful cry which tore him up inside. "I'm sorry" he apologized. She gritted her teeth and tried to bear the immobilizing pain. He quickly, but carefully carried her up the stairs and laid her down in the backseat of his truck. Then he jumped in the drivers seat and sped down the streets toward the hospital. He pulled out his cell and called Flack. He picked up after about two rings.**

**"Yeah, Flack" he answered.**

**"Don, it's Mac" replied Mac.**

**"What's up?" he asked.**

**"Don, listen, Jo's been attacked, I need you to call the team and get them to secure the scene, I'm on my way with her to the hospital" he said.**

**"Oh my God, okay, I'm on it" said Flack.**

**"Thanks" said Mac.**

**"Of course" replied Flack.**


	4. Father Can You Hear Me

Mac continued speeding down the streets of New York, glancing back at Jo every couple of minutes to

make sure she was okay. Finally he arrived at the hospital. He swung the truck into a parking spot. He

jumped out of the truck and quickly carried Jo into the hospital. "I need some help over here please" he

started yelling. A doctor and two nurses quickly ran over with a gurney. Mac laid her down on it. "What

happened?" they asked. "She's been attacked" replied Mac. "What's her name?" asked the doctor.

"Jo..Jo Danville" he replied. "Okay Jo, I need you to stay with me okay" he said. She shined a light in both

of her eyes. "Definite concussion" he said. She started to cough up more blood. The doctor immediately

lifted her shirt and looked down at the bruising with dismay. "She's displaying signs of tension

pneumothorax, we need a needle thoracotomy and a chest tube, come on let's move people" yelled the

doctor.

"What's happening?" asked Mac. "She's going into respiratory distress, we need to get her in the

O.R. now" he replied. The worry on Mac's face was now very prevalent. They started wheeling her down

the hall. Mac ran alongside them and held tight to Jo's hand the whole time until they reached the

double doors. "I'm sorry sir, but you're going to have to wait here" said the doctor. "Please, sir" said the

doctor.

It finally took some coaxing, but Mac finally let go of her hand and allowed them to take her down the

corridor and out of his sight. He sat down in one of the waiting room chairs, put his head in his hands,

and almost completely broke down. It wasn't too long before he heard footsteps and looked up to see

his entire team racing toward him. "Mac, what the hell happened? Flack called me and said something

happened to Jo but wouldn't elaborate!" exclaimed Lindsey. "I can't believe I just let her walk home

like that" said Mac. "Mac, what happened?" asked Lindsey again. "She… she, um, was attacked" said

Mac.

"How bad?" asked Lindsey. "It's not good" said Mac. They all turned around when they heard the sound

of footsteps heading toward them. "Jo Danville" he said. Mac stood up. "How is she doctor?" asked

Mac. The doctor sighed. "I wish I had better news Detective Taylor" replied the doctor. "Detective

Danville sustained 3 broken ribs, a punctured lung, a dislocated shoulder, a bruised sternum and spine,

and a pretty severe concussion, along with numerous other abrasions and contusions. Mac noticed the

look of disdain and concealment in her eyes.

"What aren't you telling me Doctor?" asked Mac, inquisitively, knowing all too well what the doctor was

holding back , considering the state that he had found Jo in. The doctor sighed. "We also did a rape kit

and it was positive for semen" replied the doctor. At that moment it felt like the room was spinning and

Mac felt that he might throw up at any moment. Don had to guide Mac back to his chair. Lindsey started

sobbing and Danny took her in is arms and held her. Flack, enraged, punched the wall, as the others just

stood there completely speechless.

Mac regained his composure somewhat. "Can I see her?" he asked anxiously. Dr. Madison could tell that

Mac was in an emotionally vulnerable state. "Of course, but only for a little while; she's in recovery

room 108" replied the doctor sympathetically. "Thank you" said Mac. He turned to his team. "You all

should go back to the lab and analyze the evidence, and Don please call Jo's family, they must be

worried sick, but please don't give them all the details" he said. "Yeah sure whatever you need Mac"

replied Don. Lindsey embraced him and then she, Don, and the others went on their way.

"I hope you get your guy" said the doctor. "Me too" said Mac as he headed down the hallway towards

Jo's hospital room.

He reached her room. His hand shook as he reached for the door handle. He took a deep breath and

pulled the door open. As soon as he entered the room and saw her, a mix of emotions began to course

through him. He was angry at the man who did this to Jo, angry at himself for not insisting that he take

her home, and completely heartbroken, as he saw her laying there. She just looked so lifeless and the

pallor of her skin was a ghostly white whereas she looked like a fragile porcelain doll. Her face was

extremely swollen from the beating she had taken and Mac could hardly keep himself from breaking

down. He walked over to the bed, pulled up a chair, and took her hand in his and whispered softly to

kept thinking to himself if only he had protected her better, then none of this would have

happened. After a while, though he wanted to be near hear, he just couldn't take one more minute of

seeing her lying their helpless and beaten down. He made his way from her hospital room towards the

chapel to do the one thing that he hadn't done to often since Claire died, pray.

When he reached the chapel, he was thankful that there was no one else besides him. He slipped into

one of the pews and just sat there for a second in silence, unsure of where to begin. "Well God here we

are again, I know it's been quite a while, but I figure now is as good a time as any, so here it goes." said

Mac."I've never fully wanted to admit to myself that I need anybody, but I do, I need her, Jo is

everything to me. I don't know if I can go on living without her, so all I'm asking is that you watch over

her and please don't take her from me. I know everyone says when it's your time you gotta go, but Lord,

this isn't Jo's time, she's got so much more living to do, so just please let her live, amen." finished Mac.

He got up and headed back towards Jo's room and was stopped by a nurse. "I'm sorry sir but visiting

hours are over, you'll have to come back tomorrow " she said. " I'm afraid that's impossible, because I'm

not going anywhere " said Mac. " Sir please, I don't want to inform security" she replied, but Mac

wasn't backing down. "Well I'm afraid I must inform you…." He was stopped short. "Is there a problem

her nurse Johnson?" asked doctor Madison. "Yes Ma'am, I'm afraid there is, this gentleman is refusing

to leave after I've already explained to him that visiting hours are over

"Well I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Nurse Johnson, but Detective Taylor is a good friend of mine,

not to mention a decorated officer of the NYPD, and I authorized it" replied Doctor Madison. "Oh, I'm

so sorry Detective Taylor, I will bring you some blankets and pillows" said Nurse Johnson racing off down

the hall. Mac turned to Dr. Madison. "Thanks Samantha" said Mac. She put up her finger and gave him a

stern look. "Mac, don't you ever pull something like that again" she said perturbed. "What?" asked Mac

taken aback. "I am a highly respected professional and I don't want to lose that respect by being

presumed to play favorites and let friends become exceptions to the rules" said Samantha

Mac was about to say something else. "Wait, let me finish." But under the circumstances I can

understand why you need to be here with your friend" said Samantha. "You love her don't you?" she

inquired. "I can see it in your eyes" she continued.

"Yes, very much" replied Mac. At hearing this Samantha smiled. "Which is why I've mad the exception"

she replied. "Now I'll be in to check on you later on" said Samantha. "Thanks Sam" I appreciate it" he

said. "No problem Mac" replied Samantha. With that he took off down the hall to Jo's room.

He once again pulled his chair close to the bed. He took her hand in his and caressed it. "Jo I don't know

If you can hear me, but I might never get another chance to say this; I love you so much, I have ever

since the first day I met you and I can't believe I how much of a fool I've been to wait this long to tell

you" he said. "I don't know what I'd do without you, so you have got to pull through for me and for Ellie

and Tyler; they need you, I need you" he continued.

" I am so sorry that this happened. It's all my fault, I…I shouldn't have given you a choice. I should

have insisted that I drive you home, and none of this would have happened, I'm so sorry." He said

sobbing.

Then he felt a slight squeeze and then an extremely weak voice. "Don't you dare do that Mac Taylor"

said Jo in a barely audible whisper. "Jo, thank God" he said delicately stroking her cheek. "Don't you

dare blame yourself, this isn't your fault" she continued, clearly in pain.

"I…I shouldn't have been so stubborn when you offered me a ride home" she continued. "Jo, we could

go round and round all day with this, but you need to just rest, now I'll go get the doctor" said Mac. "But

don't you need my statement?" she managed with a painful grunt. "You don't need to worry about that

right now Jo okay, just please get some rest" said Mac soothingly. "J..John Curtis" she said grimacing in

pain. Mac's facial expression then changed from that of concern to sheer hatred. "What?" inquired

Mac, though he had heard full well what she had said. "It was John Curtis, he jumped me, I never heard

him coming" said Jo."I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch" said Mac angrily. At that moment, the doctor

walked in. "Everything okay in here?" she asked.


End file.
